The Vine

John 15:5 says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing."

I have written before that my biggest fear is that of failure. Probably a VERY CLOSE second is the fear of heights. I'm not talking about being afraid of sky diving or cliffs. I'm talking about step ladders. I can't stand to not be on the ground. Don't ask me to climb a ladder or ride the parachutes at Six Flags or anything that means my feet will be leaving the ground! I've decided it is really a control issue. I'm more afraid of not being in control than I am the actual heights, because being on top of a mountain doesn't bother me. It's simply my feet leaving the earth that scares me silly!

There have been several things lately that have just stirred up fear in me. I won't go into detail, but I have found myself concerned about many things that are out of my control. I have had trouble sleeping, and I have even had a couple of nightmares. Some of these are righteous things that I worry about, and some are not. They are simply fears that come from me trying to work out of my own strength and not drawing from God's strength.

Last weekend I went on the 5th grade retreat, and I spent some time with the Lord, and decided I need to relinquish this sense of always having to be in control--a "control freak" as Jane used to call me (I smile and think of her everytime I struggle with this--she always knew and always held me accountable).

I am a pretty capable person. I don't generally complain about something unless I have a solution for it already in mind. I generally don't say I can't do something, and I certainly don't respond well to others telling me I can't do something...hearing someone tell me that is a guarantee that I CAN and I WILL! So, on this retreat last week, I decided to face this fear of heights head on. I decided that if I could conquer it (at least temporarily), then I could begin to conquer the other fears that were needling me and disturbing my sleep. That's where the zip line came in.

Now, some of you are probably saying, "A zip line? You're scared of a zip line?" No. I'm not scared. I was terrified. But, ultimately relinquishing control of something means having to trust in something else. After questioning the people monitoring the zip line over and over again, I finally decided to trust. I put on my gear, took my hook and climbed up the several stories of stairs to the top of the platform. Once I made the climb, I was bound and determined to jump off. Of course, I asked the poor man monitoring the equipment about 4 times to prove to me that it was really going to hold me, and that I really was attached firmly. I don't know about you, but I was looking at how far down it was, and was a little skeptical about hooking on to a cable and jumping off. But, I finally sat down, scooted to the edge, blocked everything else out and leaned forward. Within moments, I was flying through the air. It was the most exhilerating and freeing experience of my life. I actually enjoyed it, and David B has the video to prove it. I was smiling from ear to ear all the way down!

Sometimes, I feel like our Christian walk is similar to that zip line. We are attached to the lifeline of God, but we also know the comfort of our own shoes and the safe ground that we walk every day. Sometimes it's hard to lean forward and trust enough to let go. Sometimes we are resistant to change. Sometimes we fear being bold about the Gospel. Sometimes we are guilty of keeping our mouths shut when we should stand up and speak for Truth. Sometimes we are simply guilty of trying to be self-sufficient and don't take time to be nourished by our Creator. Ultimately, we have to trust God's prompting. We have to trust that He stands there--not wanting to shove us off into a foreign land, but rather, reminding us to attach our lives to His vine of life, thus securing our path all the way to Him. Aren't we grateful that we don't have to put our eternal trust in the things of this earth--the manmade zip lines and parachutes--but rather in the eternal God?

I had to face a major fear in ministry following that zip line experience. I knew it was coming. And, remarkably, it was painless. Why? Not because I jumped off a 5 story platform, but because I tangibly forced myself back into a right, clear perspective. I realized that God is not going to ask me to do something unless He is going to equip me every step of the way. I may not know how or when, but I know He will--and He'll do it in His perfect timing.

The best part of the zip line was the friendly faces (jaws dropped) at the end of the line. My Christian brothers and sisters were cheering me on--encouraging me. It was a reminder that with us spurring each other on, Jesus as the Vine and God's nourishment and supervision, we can accomplish anything He has in mind for us to do.

Psalm 9:10 says, " Those who know Your name will trust in You,
for You, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You."

Let us keep encouraging each other to push forward, out of our comfort zones, into service and spread this Gospel throughout the world. Let us be faithful in our community, and faithful in our places week by week. There are people in the Metroplex who don't know the transforming power of the Gospel. People are eager to hear. They just need people who are not afraid to step out and tell!

Lord, thank You for helping me to put my fears into perspective. Thank You for challenging me daily to step out and live for You. Thank You for the reminder that You are trustworthy, right and pure. Thank You for being unfailing. Help me to live daily apart from sinful fear, and rather in righteous fear and reverence to You. When I stray, Lord, remind me that the one secure line is Your lifeline. Help me to stay attached to Your vine and remain in You.